Why I Won't Watch Much....

I'm not a synchronized diving judge.  Far from it.  However, as I watched the London 2012 ladies synchronized diving competition  this morning I wondered if all they do is choose random people from the street to judge these competitions.

China executed all of their dives flawlessly (apparently not a surprise as China dominates in this category).  The U.S. and Canada were set to receive Silver and Bronze respectively.  Although not as flawless as China, they did a great job at synchronizing their entries into the water.  To be honest though, I didn't see them doing any better than some of the other teams who were barely making it onto the scoreboard at all.

To the untrained eye every dive looks the same and to me, unless the pair is completely off synchronization I wonder how a judge would deem them unworthy of higher scores (again I am NOT a judge, obviously).

With one last dive left, Canada took to the diving boards and executed a sloppy, un-synchronized, chaotic dive.  Not even entering the water at the same time.

The scores showed they were still good to receive Bronze.  

I then watched as Great Britain took to the diving boards and executed a nearly flawless dive, in perfect synchronization throughout the entire dive.

I listened as the commentators (Canadian obviously) picked apart the Britains attempt, when just seconds before they announced how wonderfully executed the Canadians dive was.

Huh?

I'm wondering if they watched the same dive as I did.  Then I wondered if maybe their positioning in the aquatic center was a bit off and they didn't see what I saw.  Like maybe they are hanging upside down from the rafters....

Canada did not execute a flawless dive.  It was completely flawed.  Great Britain's dive was exquisite, fully synchronized (isn't that the point?) and clean.

This of course isn't the first time I've seen this kind of thing at the Olympics.  The entire 'show' has encountered huge skepticism and been the center of debate for eons.  It's why I won't watch much of it.  

Apparently, one of the Canadian divers was in line to receive her third straight diving medal and it would be historical to do so.  So, is favoritism at play here?  Is there a need to 'make history' at the Olympics so that more people will watch? 

I have no idea.  And I know I sound all 'conspiratorial' and everything which is not something I indulge in very often, however it is really hard to fathom why a team who could not execute a perfect dive would even make it to the podium.  Canadian or otherwise.

It makes me wonder what it is like for the other teams and athletes.  To know your sport inside and out, train hard for it all of your life; just to watch as someone else completely misses every mark but takes a medal that most certainly could have belonged to you.  If the judges had their eyes open.

The Canadian announcer even admitted that the Canadian team barely made it to the Olympics this year because they were having so much trouble with their dives.  Then added that their practices were nothing to write home about either.

So all of this isn't so much upsetting as it is intriguing.  Why do we have the Olympics?  To celebrate unity and equality?  To bring the world together in healthy, friendly competition?  To spend copious amounts of money on something that will not make the world a better place to live and will only serve to keep people entertained for a few hours a day.

I will say there are some amazingly talented and deserving athletes whom I commend for their hard work (seeing as I can't even get my ass of the couch to walk my dog some days).  The commitment it takes to be a part of something as grand as the Olympics is mind numbing and still they do it for the love of their sport.

It's definitely the mother in me that would like to see the Olympians and judges playing nice and being fair.  Is it too much to ask?  I mean it IS the Olympics.

My Declaration of Independence

I recently opened up my email to find this article waiting for me from the Omega Institute. 

Okay, so usually I just delete these emails without looking at them because I either don't have time to read through it or I can't for the life of me remember signing up to receive them.

But today, this beautifully rainy stay in the house day has afforded me the guilt free pleasure of going through the emails that I would normally delete. 
 
I have been struggling for almost a year with my business success.  I can't tell you how many times I stressed and sobbed over my success (or lack thereof).  In my mind, my business success was my life success.  Somehow, somewhere in my tiny brain I could not separate the two.  So a slow day (or week or month) of business meant I was a failure at life.

Not that any of that statement is true fact.  It's just what I had convinced myself of.

And for a long time I would talk about how I felt and no one seemed to understand my dilemma.  I couldn't seem to get any clarity on this issue.  I just remember having a feeling inside of me like I just wanted to give it all up, not caring that I have just spent the past five years building a clientele and earning a 'reputation' as a healer.

Honestly, I just couldn't take the stress of the war that was going on between my heart and my head.

Being in 'business' meant struggle (another belief I am working to eradicate), working long hours and never, ever (not even if your hair is on fire) giving up!!!

You know those quotes you see on facebook that say things like:

ACK!

All I really wanted was to just be me and maybe make a little bit of money to help my husband pay the bills.  That's all!  I had quit good jobs with large companies because of the stress and limitations, and yet here I was creating stress in my own business that I really couldn't escape from.

I had created an impossible box for myself.  Stay in 'business' and be miserable and burnt out OR give my 'business' up and look like a failure in the eyes of my family, peers and worse...myself!

Double ACK!

About two weeks ago I had had enough of the inner conflict.  I flipped my monkey mind the bird and I created my own declaration of independence (though I didn't realize that this is what I had done until I read the article). 

I made a decision to be me.  I made a decision to not give up my business but to give up the stress of constantly pushing myself into places I didn't want to be in the name of business.  I gave myself permission to stop doing all of the things that people say you HAVE to do if you are an entrepreneur.

Because it's not true what they say!  It's not true that success hurts, that success is difficult.  It's NOT TRUE!!!!

I made the decision to do good and be good at the doing.  I made the decision to enjoy my life and if life came in the form of business then I could give myself permission to enjoy that to.

This is my declaration of independence.

And in two weeks I have experienced some amazing things in my life and my business.

Unfortunately, I always had this idea that I would appreciate my gifts when they made me successful (kind of like the idea that I'll use my good china when the Pope comes to visit and I'm not even Catholic!).

I think we do this alot to ourselves.  Wish and work for something thinking we will be happy when we get there only to realize that there are other plateau's that we can reach, ultimately leaving us unhappy all of the time and wanting more and thinking we'll never have it.

In two weeks I have learned that I have all that I need, I may want a little more but there's no rush for it and that success isn't in the amount of money flowing into my pocketbook but in how many people I can inspire and transform with sincerity, truth and love. 

My declaration of independence is currently in my head, but now I know I need it in writing.

And I have a beautifully rainy night to do it.